Saturday, October 8, 2016


Why do people commit to a relationship that makes them unhappy? I really don't understand. I'm not talking about long term relationships, but new relationships where the couple only know each other for a short time. Often, I hear things like " It's almost impossible for us to have a discussion"; " I just don't like how he doesn't think for me" etc. Or there's not enough respect between the couple. Is there an explanation behind this?

From what I gathered from acquaintances, what made them stay in the relationship is the notion that they have someone that's staying in their life and the person will look after them. I know I sound stupid but I really don't get it. How can someone have the ability to take care of you if they can't even make you happy? I have the belief that a significant other should be able to become your best friend or at least a good friend after stripping off the other romantic aspects. Maybe it's the sex and chemistry that's keeping them? But not very often. Some of them don't have a partner that is physically attractive to them, one they don't have the urge to drag them to bed. This is what really baffles me. If they don't have the magical powers to make you wanna be naked with them all the time, and you can't have a proper discussion with them, and they don't think for you or don't respect you enough, what's the catch?

There must be something that I'm missing out.

Monday, October 3, 2016

I get more and more confused about people's idea of 'freedom of speech', from my limited knowledge I would expect one to say whatever's on their mind, no matter how provocative or obscene. But it seems that even though a large number of people vocally support one's freedom of speech, they also unintentionally or intentionally I don't know try to limit other people's right when they find the content offensive and opposite to what they believe. So I guess freedom of speech in most people's heads is that you get to talk about whatever you want, unless I think it's wrong then I'll try my best to shut you up.

I seem to be too timid to voice out how I feel at times, I didn't really thought about it until an acquaintance pointed out how I know more about a particular topic but didn't gave my opinion. At first I was a little defensive. I said I thought it was none of my business since it's someone else's facebook comment. But the irony is I was the one who inboxed my friend to tell him how I feel that person's comment is inaccurate considering he has never lived in that society before and have no idea about all the gory and ugly aspects.

I guess I just have to keep my mind open, have discussions with people, dare to talk about what is right what is wrong how do I really feel about it.

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Insta outfits

A series of outfits I posted on instagram
top: cotton on; skirt: dangerfield revival 
dress: ice
dress:temt; shoes: reebok
top:zara; skirt: universal store 
top: bardot; skirt:sportsgirl
top, leggings: cotton on; coat:topshop; flats: forever new 
dress: idsfashion

On the side note I've finally finished my masters degree woohoo!!!!!! So relieved!!!!!

xxx Shizuen

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Haul: Shanghai Lil & The Scarlet Fez

I went to a market held in queen's theatre last sunday, well originally I was planning to go to a Japanese festival thingy with my friend, but while we were waiting for the bus I noticed a sign board that says "next market" which attracted our attention so we decided to ditch the original plan and went to this market instead (so yeah sign boards do work after all xD ). So, was strolling in the market, saw a number of interesting vendors selling mostly handmade crafts. While the stalls look nice their products either didn't catch my attention or was too expensive for my liking. Just when I was about to leave, a stall caught my eye. There was this two well dressed gentleman selling things with pretty packaging so I decided to stop and take a look. Turns out they are an Adelaide based shop that sells handmade soaps, perfumes and skincare products. They also have a very quirky name called Shanghai Lil & The Scarlet Fez. If the owners didn't talk to us I'd probably would've just had a quick browse and leave, but since they were so friendly and nice, it made me want to have a closer look at the products they are selling.
This lip balm smells so yummy! Putting it on makes me feel like I've just ate some caramel ice-cream teehee :P
Love love love this perfume balm! Seriously! It smells very refreshing, also its adorable and the fact it is a balm instead of the normal liquid perfume makes it so much easier to apply/reapply on the go
After trying the products, I fell in love with all of them. I was suppose to buy gifts for a friend who has just moved house and another friend whose birthday is coming up very soon so I thought why not buy them something from Shanghai Lil. I saw on the website they have a stockist in regent arcade, rundle mall so I went in and bought more items today.
Caramel lip balm and turkish delight perfume balm to the friend who has just moved, face serum and soap for the birthday girl.
This two is for myself :P
How pretty is the lemon meringue soap!!!
I don't really need another lip balm ahahahah xD, but I'm so in love with the other caramel lip balm I got, so I somehow managed to convince myself to get the lip balm in another flavor lolololol. THIS is why I'm broke all the time, always finding excuses to buy things I don't need.

Since winter is coming and my moisturiser is running out, I'm planning to get their face serum ;) hehehehe

xxx Shizuen

Makeup haul

So, I was searching for eyeshadow palettes up and down, and then came across this brand makeup revolution in a facebook page's recommendation. So I decided to give it a go doing a bit googling as it has quite a number of good reviews. 
Oil control fixing spray

Blushing heart- bursting with love
Ultra 32 eyeshadow palette flawless 2
Chocolate vice palette
Chocolate pink fizz palette
This is so depressing
I didn't drop it or anything, the palette was already damaged when it was delivered :(
When i opened the parcel i was like wtf did they give me a dirtied one
At this point I was like hope this is just a dirty palette and not one of those damaged oness
was like nonononono
and then the moment of truth, the palette IS damaged :((((

One of the cons of online purchases, things like this occasionally happens #crycry

I haven't get to experiment with the palettes, only tried few of the shadows, but so far i'm satisfied with the quality :). Might do a review on it when I have time ^-^.

xoxo Shizuen

Thursday, April 14, 2016


Dress: Paperscissors

Since I've have been posting zero content for ages, decided to play around with my camera again and did a mini photoshoot. In the future I'd definitely like to try doing a bit styling and photographing for others. All my edits were done via vscocam using my phone since I have zero skills in photoshop :P hehe.

I'm in the middle of a mid semester break, it's my final semester for my master course, as of now I've quit my part time job to focus on prepping for IELTS. Will have to make sure I get it done by end of May.

On the side note, I've been using spotify since January, as recommended by a friend. At first I was a lil skeptical about the hype around it. But now I can't live without it LOL, it's so great as a tool for discovering new music, I even decided to go for premium subscription, I think I'm crazy hahahaha. Talking about music, I've gathered quite an amount of inspiration from all the tracks I've been listening on spotify, and will definitely get down to business and make something via garageband on my computer :)))))) feeling excitedddddd.

I've also joined the gym and have been exercising regularly since Jan too :))))). So far I still get some of the bitchin backpains but they are tolerable now, I guess getting active helps. When it's bad I just get some painkillers or just lay in bed and devour chocolate all day lolll.

I guess that's it for now.

xxx Shizuen

Sunday, January 10, 2016

Okay for now

I went into some sort of a whirlpool in 2015. I was always having problems with my period but never really went to see a doctor about it. It has always been irregular since I first got them, except when I went back to malaysia in end of 2012 and stayed for round 2 months plus when I was really really happy haha.

So after the cramps and backpain got really bad, I decided to go see a gynaecologist to see whats wrong with my vajayjay lol. And then got ultrasound done, it was really awkward because first the gynaecologist was male, second the ultrasound scanner thingy was a tube which was stucked inside my vajayjay lolll embarrasing. And then turns out I have polycystic ovary syndrome. So, got some pills prescribed to "fix" it, aka to make me have normal periods. Boy, that was the moment where if I knew what would've happened after taking those pills, man I'd never take them, I swear. I was taking these pills for almost a year, I stopped in late november.

I guess things happen for a reason, but I'm just not so eager to have things go this way. But I can't control how things go, it is life after all and i'm only a mortal human. During that period, I lost all interest in blogging, music, movies and should I just say everything in life. I don't know if it's the effect of the medicine or what, but I wasn't feeling myself at all. I got really really REALLY depressed that time and paranoid too. I was acting normal in front of friends and family, but in front of my boyfriend who was in a different country, I was hysterical. And then I lost him, he's still in my life, as a friend, but I'm not his baby anymore and it hurts. It was in august, I remember, just a few days after his birthday, we were trying to make things work, but my emotions ruined it, I was arguing and yelling because of some stupid thing that didn't even matter, and then he said he don't want to do this anymore. I was devastated, I felt like my soul had rotten to the core. But now looking back, him deciding to breakup with me was a good thing. I needed that. I needed that kick to tell me something was wrong. I think I cried every night for two months or more. Sometimes, even in the day, on the bus, I'd just cry on the bus silently. Before the breakup, I stopped taking my pills for two weeks or so because I got busy and was lazy to get new ones, and then the medicine wore off and I was normal for short while, things got better between us again that time. But then I begin to take the pills again and everything just went down hill. It's funny really, that time you know how when sometimes you are arguing you have these horrible thoughts inside your head but you wouldn't tell the other person about it or the real anger you are feeling. During that time, everything in my head was unfiltered when I say them out, I don't have any considerations, I just had rage. And I hurt the person I love over and over again.

I have a thing about the past, sometimes I just look at them over and over again, like photographs, or just rethinking about memories.

After the breakup, I started to read the secret and the magic, by rhonda byrne. Then I realised everything went absolutely bollocks because of my emotions. I keep having really deep negative emotions all the time, and of course thinking negatively for a long period of time affects you, and I made really bad decisions and was really bad at mending relationships. I was getting really good at it that time, and then few weeks before exam and up until the end of it, I was having really irregular heatbeats and chestpain whenever I go to sleep. Then one day I got really bad chest pain so I went to the gp to see what's up and she sent me to the hospital. After that, I started getting negative again and sorta went back to being really upset about everything. It was not until I had a conversation with a dear friend and a failed attempt at reconciling with the ex then I realised I almost got my self back into the emotional turmoil again.

Now I'm here again, and I know I'm okay now, and it's not pretend, I'm really okay now with everything and I can finally see the beauty in life again. It was the moment I realised this when I was listening to coldplay's till kingdom come. The song itself is really beautiful, and I hope at my wedding day in the future, I get to have this song played.

xxx Shizuen