Sunday, September 16, 2018

Everything has changed


I haven't been posting for quite a while. I tried using wordpress for a while now. But in the end I still prefer blogspot so here I am back again.


Everytime I am back from an absence, I say I will post more regularly and make a promise to myself. But for now, I'll just go with the flow. Do whatever feels right I suppose.

There's been quite a change in this year when I haven't been posting. More for the better, almost none for the worse. Not too bad I suppose. My aim for now is to just be, and start living. Create more especially. I've been mentally blank for so long. I'm now at the lowest of the low in terms of creativity. I can't even write anymore. I'm tired. Drained. I'm sick. I've always been, but never discovered why.  

I've found out how to make myself better physically. Now I have to responsible for my mind too. I will get through this. It won't be too hard.


xxx

Shizuen

Sunday, April 9, 2017

First Pretty Little Thing haul

Shopped at pretty little thing the first time the other day. I was already aware of this super popular online store, and would occasionally browse their website but never bought anything.

And then one day I saw a top on there that I really like but it was sold out so I was a bit sad.
It was this very top. But then couple of weeks later oh hey it's back in stock but only the size xs, after looking at description, I decided to take the plunge anyway since this looks like a oversized sweater, even though I usually wear a size 10 I can wear an 8 too for some items. So yeah why not. Even though this came back in stock a few weeks after my purchase I still have no regrets getting it first with a lower discount because usually a lot of clothes I like would just go out of stock forever if I don't get them.

And to take advantage of the 40% discount (now it's 50% off even better) on pretty little thing, I also purchase two more items.
I decided to get this dusty pink colour bodycon skirt which is an everyday item that can match a variety of tops. And somehow, I find it funny, I used to loathe pink when I was younger, now I find myself typing dusty pink when I'm browsing online shops. I managed to lose some weight I gained this few years, now I can actually wear some tight clothes without a sense of insecurity, and I also guess because I've grown older and have learned to not be so self conscious anymore.
Last but not least, got this cute dress, it's got ruffles and is in green so why not hehe.

And then I came across this Isabel marant dress
This cost USD 590 holy shit and pretty little thing has an exact copy too, wow. Fast fashion really does wonder for people on budget lol


I'll do a try on haul video on youtube as well after I've finished my exam.

xxx Shizuen

Thursday, March 30, 2017



Got this polka dot wrap dress for only $15 from factorie! The last 2 pictures were taken from snapchat, don't know why they turn out so blurry :( usually my snapchat photos look alright. Oh welll.

I trimmed my fringe myself about 2-3 weeks ago, turned out alright, I was too lazy to go to the salon to get it done lol. 

Finally completed my NAATI interpretation course and the exam, result won't come out until May, I've done my best and I think I did alright so not worrying about it, just hoping for the best :D. 

The weather's finally turning cooler in Australia, I much prefer it over hot weather(even though I'm from a tropical country that's hot all year round)! 

I went on boohoo and had a few naughty purchases opps :P. But they really are so gorgeous, I couldn't help myself. Anyways, I just have to continue to work hard and by this year I'll finally achieve what I've been waiting for such a looong time.


xxx Shizuen

Friday, February 3, 2017

Update on PCOS and just venting


It has been two years or so since I've been diagnosed PCOS. Overall, I went through some trials and errors to cater to it. The main issue that was associated with the condition was weight gain and difficulty losing the excess weight. At first I thought it's just me not exercising enough or eating healthy enough that causes my weight gain, but after reading on people's experience on forums and recording my own daily habit, I see that I would have to go through other options to become healthier.

Birth control pills were prescribed by my gynaecologist to regulate my period. During the consultation with my gynaecologist, he advised to exercise more regularly so I joined a gym for the first time. I don't know if it's the pills or my metabolism has gotten slower, I actually ate "healthier" and exercised more after I've seen my gynae. But for some reasons, I suddenly gained a lot weight. Even though I was exercising 4 to 5 days a week and eating low fat stuff all the time, weight kept on going up and it was very frustrating.

It was only recently that I've joined PCOS groups on facebook and start reading more articles on it, seems that a lot individuals recommend a low carb high fat diet might benefit. Before this, I stopped taking the pill and opted for depo provera as birth control instead. It is common for people on the depo shot to have light period or sometimes get none at all. I quite like this side effect, because I've always experienced severe lower back pain when I'm on no birth control or when I'm on the pill. So that's a plus. And also, I've changed my outlook on life, I try to be more positive and ignore what people say to me. Especially my parents, ever since I started taking the pill and gained more weight than I've did before, my father says the most vile and cruel things, he would say I'm a failure and say I'm so fat, I don't do this and that that's why I've become such a fatty. And on days I experience severe back pain that nurofen or other pms medications doesn't help, he would say I am faking it and am being lazy. Now, usually I don't live with my parents, I came to Australia to study and now am looking to apply for permanent residency. So the parents would come and visit, but they would stay longer than normal parents, that is around 3 to 6 months at a time. Well, applying for permanent residency is not exactly an easy thing, it's doable but requires some work. Since that I am under 25 years old, the points that i get is lesser than people aged 25 -30. To apply for australian permanent residency, if you study or work something thats under the skilled occupation list, you are eligible to apply. And you get points for your age, english test, and other conditions. So, for the english test I've achieved the basic points needed for a skill assessment test and a 10 points towards the PR application. Now I'm on 60 points which is the minimum required. But because so many people are applying under the category im in a.k.a. migrating as an accountant, I need more points to be competitive or else my application would take ages or even more than a year for it to get processed and approval. For me to do so, I'd need to get extra points either from getting a higher score on the english test, or wait for my birthday and do extra courses. Currently my english test, IELTS, out of a maximum score of 9 i have a score of 8.5 in reading, 8 in speaking, 8.5 in listening and 7.5 in writing. So that means I am considered as having proficient english as I've got at least 7 in each band score. I'd need to achieve a superior english level, which means I have to get at least 8 in every category. Easier said than done, but I'm working on it and will be fine eventually. I'll stay strong and fight on. Am also taking a mandarin-english interpretation course to add points for my application, should be fine :)

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Why?

Why do people commit to a relationship that makes them unhappy? I really don't understand. I'm not talking about long term relationships, but new relationships where the couple only know each other for a short time. Often, I hear things like " It's almost impossible for us to have a discussion"; " I just don't like how he doesn't think for me" etc. Or there's not enough respect between the couple. Is there an explanation behind this?

From what I gathered from acquaintances, what made them stay in the relationship is the notion that they have someone that's staying in their life and the person will look after them. I know I sound stupid but I really don't get it. How can someone have the ability to take care of you if they can't even make you happy? I have the belief that a significant other should be able to become your best friend or at least a good friend after stripping off the other romantic aspects. Maybe it's the sex and chemistry that's keeping them? But not very often. Some of them don't have a partner that is physically attractive to them, one they don't have the urge to drag them to bed. This is what really baffles me. If they don't have the magical powers to make you wanna be naked with them all the time, and you can't have a proper discussion with them, and they don't think for you or don't respect you enough, what's the catch?

There must be something that I'm missing out.

Monday, October 3, 2016

I get more and more confused about people's idea of 'freedom of speech', from my limited knowledge I would expect one to say whatever's on their mind, no matter how provocative or obscene. But it seems that even though a large number of people vocally support one's freedom of speech, they also unintentionally or intentionally I don't know try to limit other people's right when they find the content offensive and opposite to what they believe. So I guess freedom of speech in most people's heads is that you get to talk about whatever you want, unless I think it's wrong then I'll try my best to shut you up.

I seem to be too timid to voice out how I feel at times, I didn't really thought about it until an acquaintance pointed out how I know more about a particular topic but didn't gave my opinion. At first I was a little defensive. I said I thought it was none of my business since it's someone else's facebook comment. But the irony is I was the one who inboxed my friend to tell him how I feel that person's comment is inaccurate considering he has never lived in that society before and have no idea about all the gory and ugly aspects.

I guess I just have to keep my mind open, have discussions with people, dare to talk about what is right what is wrong how do I really feel about it.